To bed......... and now to sleep

I often hear from parents whose gifted children have trouble falling asleep at night. Even if they have happily gone to bed, they are still awake quite some time later.

Sometimes the child is anxious about something in particular or perhaps about life in general. Sometimes they just can’t seem to ‘turn off’ and fall asleep. A regular routine helps in the wind down towards bed, but sometimes the child needs something more to help them drift off and recharge before the next day.

One seven year old boy who had been regularly still trying to fall asleep at an unsociable hour told me about his ‘lub-lub’ machine which had been a great help in getting to sleep. This device could be set to one of a number of sounds but the one which worked for him was a heart beat. He told me that listening to that made him feel calm, his brain could let go and he could go to sleep.

I have met other children who set a radio just off station providing enough distraction for them to stop replaying the details of the day in their mind and drift off to sleep. Others use ear plugs, play white noise or listen to music or guided relaxation.

For the child who likes to write, keeping a private journal where they can record their worries means they have been handed over to somewhere safe and the child doesn’t need to continue thinking about them for the time being, but they have not been dismissed as ‘silly’ can be helpful. Some people find drawing works in the same way for them. This probably works on the same sort of principles as the Guatemalan Worry Dolls which were popular when my children were young in the mid 1990’s.

What ever the best strategy for you and your child might work out to be, it is likely to change or evolve over time. Stress and anxiety levels  change as do our coping skills. And what once works might lose its effectiveness if it is used for too long. The most important thing is that there is not one right way to go to sleep. Keep thinking outside the box and try a variety of things. Sometimes the novelty can be enough to break the pattern and relax the anxiety that tends to build up when they start to worry about not going to sleep.

The seven year old boy I mentioned is now 13 and we talked recently about sleeping. He still finds it hard to fall asleep early although it often easier now. He doesn’t use his ‘lub-lub’ machine nowadays but he is interested in polyphasic sleep patterns and wonders whether he might actually have a sleep cycle that isn’t compatible with the expected 8-10 hour night time sleep and waking in time for school.
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Photo credit David Castillo Dominici

"Only Proactive Parents Need Apply"

We would be unlikely to see such a sign, and yet it contains a good reminder for us. Nothing happens without effort. We can hope and wish all we like for change, but until we take action, it will only be hopes and wishes.

Our children's education is no different.

Why did I write a book for 'proactive parents'? Surely, as some people have suggested, it is the ones who aren't proactive who need the help. The reality is that only the proactive ones are willing to do what is necessary to bring about change.

Having worked with more than 300 children and their families, I have had the opportunity to talk with and observe many degrees of willingness. It is only the parents who are prepared to be proactive, to play a part in their children's education as needed, who make a difference to the outcomes.

Some families I have seen have wished for change, but shied away from taking any action. Sometimes they have convinced themselves that 'it will work out in the end'. Inevitably I hear from them again before long often with a request about what can be done, or a recount of the current woes.

It is a very rare situation where parents of gifted children can remain observers to their child's education and all goes smoothly. Teachers are busy. They have a whole class of children with a range of learning abilities and needs. They also only see your child for part of a day generally just for a year. The chances of them 'getting' your child and knowing what to do to keep them moving along the path towards thriving in the space of a whole school year is rare. In the first days, weeks or terms, far rarer.

And yet proactive parents can help teachers greatly. Identifying your child's needs and capacities take a load off the teacher. It is work you have done for them (actually you have done it for your child and it will be a lasting action, but for now let's just focus on the teacher). Building positive relationships with teachers also removes some strain - they know you do not come on the attack even if you do have something you need to discuss. You have a wealth of knowledge about your child that a teacher can only access if you share it with them. Only you know what your child's 'natural state' is. Working together as a team can bring much greater results. In fact it is really the only way to get results.

So what about the parents who aren't yet feeling proactive? There is actually something for them too- if they are willing to take the steps towards being proactive. The first part of my book Gifted and Thriving at School: How proactive parents can get the education that fits their child  talks about some of the things that make use hesitate and provides some ideas about how to move past it.

But in the end, you will need to decide to take action. This isn't a book to convince you you should, it is one to help you on your way once you have.

You can get your copy of Gifted and Thriving at School from Thinking Ahead for $25. And you can sign up for some support and advocacy updates as well. Bonus!

Gifted and Thriving at School: How proactive parents can get the education that fits their child

Things not going so smoothly for your child at school?

Feeling hesitant about talking to your child’s teachers or school?

Not sure what information to gather to help you work out what to do?

My new book Gifted and Thriving at School: How proactive parents can get the education that fits their child was released today and it will help you build your confidence as lay the groundwork for your child to thrive at school.

 

Copies now available for just $25.00

Like a signed copy of the book? If you purchase a copy between now and Friday 9th March 2012, I will make sure your copy arrives with a signed message.

You can find out more about this great book packed with practical, road tested advice along with how to order a copy by going to the Thinking Ahead website where you will also find details of a special bonus offer.  And to keep helping you along the way as you absorb it you can also sign up for free updates about Gifted and Thriving at School with information and advocacy news.

Also currently on offer is a Special Resource Bundle where you can get a copy of Gifted and Thriving at School plus a copy of Gifted Children: Resources for Parents and Teachers in WA for just $45 (that's a saving of $10).

If you are on Facebook, 'Like' the Thinking Ahead Facebook page and find out how you might be able to get a free copy of the book.


Will it help you?
Here is what some pre-release reviewers had to say about Gifted and Thriving at School

"Can I just say, as a parent with a child who I am sure has some degree of giftedness, I have found this to be such an educational book. I am meeting with Connor's teacher this coming week and you can be sure, I have taken lots of hints from here on how to handle the meeting. I thank you on behalf of every parent of a gifted child!"

Just read the book and I have to say "THANK YOU!" What a fabulous way of helping parents get through the first phase. I remember back when I first approached J's school I was so nervous and intimidated about approaching the teachers, but your book will give parents the confidence to stand up and be heard!  I love the organisational advice and I have already set up my 3 files and started photocopying articles and going through the giant box of papers, and I can now feel confident to take some reading to J's teacher and approach her without making her feel like she isn't doing her job properly!

"What a great road map - laid out so that you are guided from one step to the next. Truly empowering"

And of course, I would love to hear what you think too.

Get your copy now (a signed one if you order this week)

Don't have a Paypal account?

You can use a print and post order form (look for the link in the right column)

Confident parents make good advocates

What is the most important thing you need in order to advocate for your child?

Confidence.

How do you build that confidence?

By developing your knowledge base and the skills which will make it easier to effectively navigate your way.

You are an expert regarding your own child. You know them better than anyone else. You know their ‘natural state’, what they look like when they are engaged with learning and happy with their place in the world. No-one has their interests held as tightly in their heart as a child's parents. No teacher, no matter how wonderful they might be, can know them as well as you.

My new book Gifted and Thriving at School: how proactive parents can get the education that fits their child is about to be released and it will guide you through the process of gathering and organising the information you need, building positive relationships with your child’s school, preparing for and attending meetings plus show you ways to communicate effectively, leaving you feeling confident that you can guide the progress of seeking the education that fits your child.

Being well prepared also boosts your confidence, but it does more than that. A well prepared parent is also an asset to the teacher. Being able to bring the teacher information and ideas about the path forward gives them a head start, helping them as well as your child.

Copies of Gifted and Thriving at School will be available from 7th March, 2012. Throughout the book you will hear the voices and advice of parents, many of whom started out hesitantly, adding their perspective to each of the steps in the process. If you would like to be among the first parents to benefit from this new book, you can pre-order your copy now from Thinking Ahead.

What have parents said so far?

"We gained great confidence from the structure you gave us. We felt we could take an active role in the process, rather than just waiting to see what was offered. Writing that thank you letter after each meeting turned out to be really useful. And because we felt more confident we were prepared to ask to see research that backed up what the school wanted to do.” 

"Just read the book and I have to say "THANK YOU!" What a fabulous way of helping parents. I remember back to when I first approached my son’s school. I was so nervous and intimidated about approaching the teachers, but this book gives me confidence to stand up and be heard! I love the organisational advice and I have already set up my 3 files, started photocopying articles and going through the giant box of papers, and can now feel confident that I can take some reading to the teacher and approach her without making her feel like she isn’t doing her job properly!"

"What a great road map - laid out so that you are guided from one step to the next. Truly empowering" 

Order your copy from Thinking Ahead and begin your advocacy journey with confidence.