Perfectionism - is the label a 'diss' or a 'kiss'??

I have to admit I stole that catchy line from Dan Pink, and while it also makes me sound like I am up to date, it makes an interesting point. Is perfectionism a problem or a plus? Well, maybe that depends.

We urge our children to do their best, we put in place complex systems of rewards from gold stars to badges of achievement and prizes, perhaps even financial incentives. On the other hand we are reminded that perfectionism can also lead to feeling frozen and blocked, and a reduction in risk taking or willingness to ‘have a go’ and that worries many of us.

So it is a problem or a plus? A diss or a kiss?

Perhaps it depends on how we think about perfectionism. Or perhaps more importantly what drives the perfectionism – whether it comes from an inner urge to strive for excellence or from an outside push to meet the standards of others.

Adaptive perfectionism can lead us to great achievements, striving to better our performance and to continual improvement. This comes from an internal desire for our own excellence.

Maladaptive perfectionism is just the opposite. It can limit us to ‘safe’ choices, the easy option and increase our stress levels rather than our satisfaction. The driver for this sort of perfectionism is thought to be external, fed by our concerns about what others might think, whether we measure up, what they may think if we make a mistake.

We acknowledge that creativity is an important part of life and learning. But creativity is messy, it involves making mistakes and taking risks. And that can make it scary for perfectionists who like to know exactly what is expected.

What can we do to encourage our children towards adaptive or positive perfectionism? Setting high standards and encouraging excellence are still important, but expecting perfection may not be productive. Praising effort and ideas rather than simply results and setting attainable goals may also help keep the balance towards the positive side.

So is perfectionism a problem or a plus?  For most of us, It is a work in progress, the drivers shifting depending on our perceptions of competence and how important success is to us (and to significant others in our lives). I have a feeling that our mindset plays a more significant part in this than we might at first think (more on mindset soon).

If the idea of looking at things differently interests you, you may also be interested to listen to a short (under 3 mins) presentation by Derek Silvers called Weird, or Just Different?

There is a flip side to everything. It just depends on how you look at it