Wearing the Right Glasses

Before I get started I just want to let you know that I am very excited to be participating in this Blog Tour, not only because this is a first for me but because it has further opened up the wonderful world of giftedness and blog posts from far and wide, and reminded me that despite being a long way from anywhere, the world really is a small place.

Wearing the Right Glasses

"It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see. ”
Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)

 A long time ago, when I was a trainee teacher, I took a Special Needs elective unit as part of my degree. I don't recall that any mention was made of giftedness (and didn't find it mentioned in the unit text book when it came to light in a recent clean up), so I no doubt, started my teaching career as blind to the concept of giftedness as many teachers continue to do even today. I do recall one particular class in that unit though which required us to put on different glasses and walk around the campus. These were designed to simulate the experience of various vision defects. It was difficult, and it changed our perception.

Over time my interest in giftedness grew and I now have many years of experience working with families with gifted children, teachers and schools. As I try to help others grasp the differences that are part of giftedness I often think of those glasses and wish there was something similar which could help teachers (and others) understand the gifted experience more clearly. It could save much heartache and frustration and even avoid mis-turns and unfortunate misdiagnoses.

Let’s imagine for a moment that you work in a setting with a group of people whose values or interests are wildly different to you own. While you might prefer to discuss current affairs or the environmental impact of a proposed mining project, your workmates are focussed on the latest reality TV show or celebrity faux par. You initially attempt to join in the conversation, perhaps trying to introduce something of more interest to you but are met with blank looks. Your work mates quickly turn away and go back to discussing what interests them. Pretty soon you stop trying to engage them in conversation.

A similar situation may exist for your gifted child who goes to school and finds that his or her classmates are equally disinterested in their latest passion. After trying to engage them in the topic of interest and maybe even trying other ways to belong to the group, perhaps even trying ‘just running around’ like everyone else, or hanging about on the edge of conversations or games, your child decides they would really rather read a book or chat with the teacher on duty.

Before long the teacher raises concerns about your child’s social skills, mentioning immaturity based on not engaging with their classmates. (They may have a similar opinion about the adult situation above as well, although they would probably word it slightly differently). This is not an uncommon situation, although the scenario might change at times to include a child who cries when mum leaves them at Kindy, or the child who gets 'more upset than normal' when a humanitarian issue is discussed at school.

Think for a moment about the glasses I mentioned earlier.

If the teacher is wearing glasses that give a 'normal' view of the situation with an average ability child, their interpretation of the situation might seem reasonable for a child of the same age.

If they change to wearing 'gifted glasses', ones that let them see the behaviour in the light of giftedness, the situation may appear very different.

The child who isn’t engaging with their classmates of the same age because they have moved beyond that stage of development is not immature. If we were to relocated a ‘normal’ child to the classroom of younger children for some reason we would not immediately deem them immature when they found it difficult to connect appropriately with their new classmates.  First we would look to see how they interacted in other settings. It is equally appropriate (and important) to do so with a gifted child who struggles to connect with classmates. Knowing they are comfortable interacting with older children or in other settings provides a vital insight regarding their social disconnectedness and ‘maturity’.

The clingy child may be using the only method they have available to them to let mum know they are not comfortable in a particular setting. The sensitive child who is upset at the plight of others may be exhibiting signs of a greater awareness and concern for others than their class mates. Without the right (gifted) glasses, their behaviour could be misinterpreted.

It is not just teachers who would benefit from these glasses. Parents too would find them invaluable, especially in the early stages of their journey into giftedness. A parent's frustration at their child's increasing forgetfulness, or perhaps their need to know exactly where they will be going and when, are just a couple of examples of times when parents too might benefit from the looking through the right glasses.

They would be handy for health professionals too. Imagine a GP or psychologts (or even an optician) who could consider what they saw in light of giftedness. A child or adult’s intensity or difficulties might not be viewed as symptoms of a mental or emotional disorder and therapy or medication may not follow in an attempt to ‘cure’ the symptoms of giftedness.

In my recently published book The Beginner’s Guide to Life on the Bright Side I mention a woman who came to see me regarding her daughter. During the consultation she described how she herself had been taking antipsychotic drugs for 8 years following a Bipolar diagnosis. In the process of understanding her highly gifted young daughter’s needs and the challenges the family were facing as a result, this mother gained insight into her own situation. Her neurologist subsequently took her off medication and agreed that she had been misdiagnosed. It was, however, the only way to explain her ‘symptoms’ when they were compared to the general population. With the benefit of ‘gifted glasses’ he may have been able to refer this young mother to a different sort of help.

Similarly, a child’s intensity, impatience, sensitivity and high energy, all characteristics common amongst gifted children, can be mistaken for AD/HD. A sensitive, intense and strong-willed child’s behaviour might be mistaken for Oppositional Defiant Disorder, particularly if they do not like to be criticized for thinking differently and tend to question rules or engage in power struggles with those in authority. The impact of inconsistencies or injustices they observe in the world, or their lack of opportunity to interact with like minds might be considered to be signs of a mood disorder in another. Gifted individuals often experience intense feelings or changes of mood and depression can have its roots in unrecognized giftedness.

Interpreting the behaviour in light of 'normal' or 'most people' can result in pathologizing what is, in reality, a cry for help. Many misdiagnoses of gifted children (and adults) based on behaviours which appear abnormal when they are viewed through 'the lens of normal' can be attributed to asynchrony, misfit and feeling alienated. Many gifted individuals spend years trying to understand their differentness, grappling with being 'too much' or out of step with others. With the right glasses they may be able to appreciate their intensity, complexity and drive as positive traits relating to giftedness.

Quite apart from the problem of general lack of awareness about giftedness, the brain science of attention has demonstrated clearly that we can see what we expect to see while other aspects of a scenario go unnoticed. To see what we missed, we need to stop looking one way and start looking another. In effect we need to check whether we need to swap our ‘normal’ glasses for the ones that let us interpret what we see in the light of giftedness.

Which glasses are you wearing? It could make a huge difference to the lives of gifted individuals and their families.

Photo credit Michelle Meiklejohn via www.FreeDigitalPhotos.net 

Use this link to find out more about The Beginner’s Guide to Life on the Bright Side

Be sure to go and read other blog posts from this Blog Tour. You will find them listed at http://ultranet.giftededucation.org.nz/WebSpace/696/