The value of failing

It is tempting as parents to scaffold so tightly that our children never experience failure, that they never learn how to pick themselves up when things don’t go well and discover that the world doesn’t end, no matter how uncomfortable the might feel. Being able to persist in the face of challenge is a crucial element of grit or perseverance, a really important factor in becoming successful.

Learning what doesn’t work helps build resilience. Not knowing can also help build independence, self reliance and the ability to problem solve. Ultimately this can reinforce the belief that we can control our destiny to a degree rather than being a victim of circumstances. Monitoring too closely can interfere with our children learning these valuable skills. As much as we would like to see them do well, they need to learn how to do that independently, to learn that their actions (or inaction) have a consequence, whether it is forgetting their lunch, not completing homework, or preparing insufficiently for a test. The important thing for parents to do is not to stop them falling, but to provide a safe environment in which they can do so and help them learn from the experience.

It turns out that error-free learning is inefficient. Learning becomes stronger and more long lasting if conditions are arranged so that we make errors. It sounds contradictory but it has been shown that we remember things better and longer if we are given really challenging tests before we learn the material. It appears that an unsuccessful attempt to retrieve information before we are given or find an answer helps us remember information better than simply studying the information. Trying and failing to retrieve an answer actually helps learning.

Pre-testing, or giving a test before content is taught, then studying or learning just the bits you missed will improve learning. In some ways this makes sense, spending time covering material you already know isn’t likely to move your learning forward. But perhaps more important is becoming comfortable with not knowing. Students who find school easy, who get high marks without effort are missing the chance for deep and long term learning.