Welcome to the Wonderful and Challenging World of My Child

or

Preparing for

A new school year begins very soon and some children and (parents) can’t wait to begin. Many however are not so enthusiastic. If the previous year, or years, have not been ideal the idea of another tough year can put a dampener on the preparations. 

 

Like most things a good beginning can make all the difference to how things turn out. This is an ideal time to be proactive and help set up a positive year.

Teachers are busy; they have a classroom full of children. At the beginning of the year, it is classroom full of new faces. Finding a way for your child’s face to stand out from the crowd can make a difference to how the year unfolds. If you are like I was, you probably hold your breath the first day or two of the school year as you wait to see how things turn out because you know that this can set the tone for what the year will hold. Putting together this document can make a big difference.

Even if your child is recognised as having ‘special needs’ of some sort, or is registered as a Student at Educational Risk (SAER), don’t assume a teacher knows all they need to about your child. Some teachers will make the effort to read a student’s file, some will not. Even for those who do, it may only be a cursory look. Reading student files is not always easy to do. Sometimes they are kept in a central location meaning a teacher can’t check on details as they needed and they may not be able to remove a file to read it at a time they can concentrate on the details. The information in student files are not always organised in a fashion that makes it easy to find key points. This is your chance to communicate information that they might not pick up, while also letting them know you are willing to work as a team for the best outcomes.

By putting together a short document with the key points in an easy to read format, you are not only doing what you can to ensure the year starts well for your child, you are also helping the teacher by giving them the best chance of positive start. Ideally it should only be 2 pages, a cover sheet and a single sheet with dot points outlining key points.

When you have put this together, try to make a time to speak to the teacher before the school year begins. Teachers have many duties in the days leading up to the start of school so try to keep the meeting fairly short. If you need to, organise another time you can sit down with them once they have met your child to go through a few key things in more detail. By keeping that first meeting fairly short you let them know it is important, but that you recognise they are busy. They may also have some questions for you by the time you meet again.

If there is more information that you want the teacher to read, perhaps reports from other professionals or previous intervention or support plans, put copies (never the originals) of these in an envelope. Give this to the teacher when you have finished your chat about the summary sheet, for them to read and digest later on.

Here is the format for a summary that I have found works well. Feel free to tweak it to suit your needs if you prefer.

Cover page

• Set up a cover page for your document with the heading ‘Welcome to the Wonderful and Challenging World of (insert child’s name)’. You might choose slightly different wording, but the idea is to make your child sound appealing but also acknowledge that there are a few challenges that come with falling outside the norm.
• Include a photograph of your child on the cover. Look for one that is a head shot, or head and body and where they look relaxed and happy. The idea is to insert the positive image into the teacher’s mind, so that when they look out across a classroom full of faces, your child’s face (and the info you include in the rest of the document) comes to mind.

Inside the document 

Include a couple of dot points about each of the following:

• Information about intellectual potential if you have it (or your best indication if you don't. You might find the Ruf Estimates helpful in working out level of giftedness)
• Any diagnoses or information about disabilities or different learning needs. You many have information from professionals to draw on here. Keep it short and to the point.
• Strengths – things your child does well. It could include information about how they learn best, what they are good at, what they enjoy, or personal characteristics (helpfulness, taking things literally etc). 
• Weaknesses – any identified weaknesses. These might be in learning, self-management, coping, socialisation, deliberate under-performance or another area.
• What works – what actions or interventions allow your child to function at their best. It may include strategies teachers have used in the past, or recommendations from professionals who have assessed your child.
• What doesn’t work - what pushes the child’s buttons, or what limits their ability to function optimally. This might include insights from previous years where teachers insisted on actions or behaviours that didn’t work well for your child. As a parent you probably know well what doesn’t work.
• A statement about working as a team for the best outcomes for everyone

My children are beyond the school years now but I have done this in the past, and found it can make a big difference, not only to how the teacher responds to your child, but also to your relationship with the teacher. And that is an important element in seeing your child thrive.

You might like to give it a try.

 

All the best for a wonderful year.

The Kitten or the Monkey

Recently I was reading Seth Godin's new book The Icarus Deception:How High Will You Fly? and I came across a story that I thought was perfect at this time of the year when thoughts turn to the new school year and parents wonder how things will play out, and whether or not they should act. Some parents are preparing their advocacy efforts and will be proactive, others will teeter, not sure whether they should speak up.

 

Perhaps the story of the Kitten and the Monkey might help you decide.

 

As Godin explains
When a kitten gets in trouble, its mother picks it up by the scruff of the neck, rescuing him and taking him to safety. 

A baby monkey on the other hand has no choice but to grab onto the back of its mother if he wants to escape.

One is rescued. The other rescues himself.

The monkey is being proactive. It 'saves' itself. It makes the choice to act and the outcome depends on it choosing to act. The alternative for the monkey is to remain in the less-than-ideal situation it finds itself in.

 

The kitten waits for someone to notice and act for it. It hands over its power, leaving itself at the whim of others.

 

Our cultural instinct is to wait to be noticed, or picked, or rewarded, rather than to stand up and draw attention, particularly with regard to schooling. But it is OK to choose to take action, to be proactive.

 

When school resumes you can decide whether the education your child is delivered meets their needs, or not. Chances you will have a good idea by the end of the first days of the school year. You can decide whether to wait for someone to notice it isn't working so well.

Or you can decide to be proactive and change the course of events.

 

You can choose to be the monkey. Or the kitten.

 

The outcomes will depend on your choice.

 

Photo from www.traveladventures.org

 

Changing the World

"History, though, shows us that the people who end up changing the world - the great political, social, scientific, technological, artistic, even sports and revolutionaries - are always nuts, until they're right, and then they are geniuses."

Dr John Eliot from his book 'Overachievement'

Without trying too hard, I can think of many examples. I am sure you can too.

 

When I read this quote I remembered jotting down some notes as I read a magazine in a waiting room somewhere a few years ago in my ever handy notebook. It expressed a similar sentiment.  

 

All truths travel in a cycle.
First they are ridiculed.

Then they are violently opposed.

Finally they are declared self evident.

 

Parents advocating for their gifted children often face barriers. It is often hinted that they are 'nuts' for requesting an acceleration, particularly where a child is not currently performing highly (even though there is evidence that with the right environment they could).

 

Sometimes they give in to the pressure, begin to doubt themselves, or even their child.

 

 Sometimes parents persist and are shown to be right. I can think of plenty of examples of parents whose children are now flourishing because the parents continued to pursue what they believed was right.

 

They are the ones who change the world. Not just for their child, but for other gifted children that follow.

 

Happy New Year and I hope that you will disregard the voices that suggest you are 'nuts' for wanting the best for your child, and persist. Be guided by your intuition, and good information.
And the knowledge that you can change your child's world.

http://www.ideachampions.com/weblogs/change-architect-sign1.jpg

 

Giftedness - it's a new language to learn

 

A parent who contacted me recently lamented that ‘Giftedness is like a whole new language. There is so much to learn, so much I don’t understand yet.’

 

I knew exactly what she meant!

 

Recently I spent some time in Europe, in Italy and in Germany this year. While I have been fortunate to spend a month in Italy 3 times in recent years, I am still not able to converse easily. I now understand more of what is being said but mostly don’t think quickly enough to respond in Italian (even despite some language lessons between visits).

 

But it wasn’t until we arrived in Germany that I appreciated just how much Italian I understood, and how much of it I could read – menus, packets in the supermarket, even some of the newspaper - which meant I was reasonably comfortable despite my limited skills. My language skills in German extend only to basic greetings. While we were there I understood virtually nothing that was written and couldn’t make any sense at all of what people around me were saying. I was grateful to those who were multilingual who could translate and help me make sense of the world.

Although it is a long time since I started out on the journey into gifted land, it is easy to forget how much you pick up along the way, just as I did with my Italian learning. Perhaps it is a bit like not noticing your children growing day to day, then suddenly they are taller than you thought (or taller than you are).

As you read and read about aspects of giftedness, even though you might still feel like you are lost in a new language, you are probably absorbing more than you think. And all of a sudden you will find you are helping someone else with a query about giftedness. Just as we discovered one day when someone mistook us for ‘locals’ in our village, and asked us for directions. And we could help them out. In Italian (even if it was stilted and slow).

Commune de Varenna. Photo Derrin Cramer, 2012.

Do you have a bright child who is bored at school?

Or maybe a young child who is reaching milestones early?

If you are in Perth (or nearby) book your place at the Academy
Of Inspiration night on October 18th to find out more about giftedness and the joys and challenges of 'Life on the Bright Side'.

More
Information and details about booking can be found at http://www.theinspirationfactory.com.au/event/203-the-beginners-guide-to-life-on-the-bright-side-info-evening.html

Event registration includes a copy of The Beginners Guide to Life on the Bright Side.

What could you become?

A grapefruit is a lemon that took a risk.

What could you become?

I'm Unique. Just like everyone else.

Fingerprints. Everyone has them, but no two are quite the same.

It's like that with people too.
 

We come in all shapes and sizes. In general we have two arms, legs, eyes and ears, and a bunch of other common features. We move in a similar fashion regardless of cultural background. We all love, laugh and cry. 

Within these similarities there are, however, many differences. We have different features, hair colour, preferences and personalities. We respond differently to the same stimulus. Some of the differences are subtle, like the differences between the fingerprints of individuals. Some are more obvious. Some vary across cultural groups.  The diversity adds richness to our life. 

Gifted children are no different, they also come in all shapes and sizes, with varying degrees of intensity and passion and a wide variety of interests. There is no one size fits all description of a gifted individual. 

In writing this, my 100th post on this blog, I have been thinking about the ways we are similar and different, and the importance of those differences, while I have been spending time in a different culture. Attempting to make yourself understood in a different language takes effort and energy. It is not always quick and it is not always convenient. Sometimes you don't succeed. Not everyone, even with the same inputs, makes the same progress. Some leap in and learn on the fly, others need to stand back, listen and observe before they are ready to make the leap. Some need to use their hands to learn, and even to talk. Some need to see it written down before the sounds they hear can make sense. Each of us is just as unique in our approach to learning as we are in looks and temperament.
 

It occurred to me that my own unique pattern of strengths, weaknesses, sensitivities, personality and features is actually just like everyone else's. It is our uniqueness that is our common bond.

It is a shame, I think, that our schools don't capitalise more on the differences. By not doing so I think we miss opportunities for richness in communication and learning,  the deepening of perspectives and the chance to develop an acceptance of the benefits of difference. 

But that requires that we don't take the most convenient path.

There are enough people who speak English in the village where we are staying that I would barely need to use my (slowly acquired and hesitantly practiced) Italian. But if I did not, I would only learn half as much, gain half the perspective I could. 

Imagine what could happen in schools if we embraced difference and capitalised on it. I might not just be our gifted children who would fly. 

"Diversity it not about how we differ. Diversity is about embracing one another's uniqueness."   Ola Joseph

Marble pebbles on the beach at Varenna, Lake Como, Italy.
Every one is different, every one formed by unique experiences.

Photo Derrin Cramer 2012