Are You Gifted? More thoughts on mixed messages

Think for a moment about how you would respond if someone asked you “Are you gifted?”.

Judging by the responses of the many families and teachers I have worked with over the last 10 years the chances are that you would squirm a bit and your answer would probably be a bit evasive. Only about 10% of those who are gifted answer positively with a ‘yes!’

What does this tell your child?

What does it say about how you define giftedness?

Does it communicate that it is OK to be gifted??

I think it would be fair to say that most parents see giftedness as a positive attribute. Yet many are reluctant to talk about it openly, even within their own family. Few talk about the implications, both positive and negative of being different, thinking faster, being more aware.

Sometimes parents have not come to terms with their own giftedness, sometimes they worry that mentioning it will encourage their child to become ‘big headed’ or conceited.  Some worry that mentioning it might make their child ‘feel different’. (The reality is that many gifted children are aware of a sense of difference often from a very young age but can’t put their finger on ‘why’, especially if it is not talked about)

Would we worry in the same way about the possibility of an inflated ego if the child was highly skilled in sport, or music or dance?? Discussing these abilities surely also carries the chance that other children might feel bad if they aren’t as capable.

Being gifted doesn’t make someone ‘better than’ anyone else. They are simply ‘better at’ some things than most other people are going to be.

By not mentioned giftedness, or discouraging your child from mentioning it, you send a confusing message. That being gifted is a good thing and you should be proud of your abilities but don’t let anyone know too much about them….