What does Happiness look like and where might we find it?

Last year I mentioned that, more than high scores, the priority for the parents I speak to is for their child to happy. Indeed it is something that we want just as much for ourselves.

Since the later part of 2009 I have read a lot about happiness, looking for some clarity and perspective, hoping to come across keys that might prove enlightening. Plenty has been written about the topic and it pops up in all sorts of places. Some people have made Happiness their ‘project’, you can attend conferences or retreats where you have the opportunities to explore the idea but we are still unable to ‘bottle’ it.

Perhaps underlying everything is ‘meaning’. Happiness is associated with purpose and passion, with taking on meaningful challenges and not running away from difficulty. It has far more to do with the pursuit of non trivial challenges than having nothing to worry about. There is a feeling of energy, absorption and satisfaction that comes with it.

This sounds very much like the concept of ‘Flow’ which was first introduced to the world by Mihalyi Czikszentmihalyi in 1990, the match between skill level and degree of challenge leadign to sustained effortlessness.

Children will spend hours improving their skills or pursuing projects in areas that interest and challenge them, mastering dance steps, practicing guitar chords, practicing their joke telling or refining a computer game. These activities real, their learning is messy in imprecise and not being sure they will get it right (at least not the first time), can be disconcerting. Yet in spite of that they are ‘happy’ to do it and they feel a degree of satisfaction in their progress or success.

If this is the case, what role does school play in children’s happiness?

How often does your child feel a passion and purpose in relation to their learning at school? (is there a difference when they are learning in other settings?) How often are they engaged in challenging, non trivial (in their mind) tasks and feeling energised and satisfied with their efforts?

How much does the child’s school experience impact on their willingness to engage in real, messy disconcerting activities out of school?